Bear the Fruit of Joy

Of Gardening, Tom Bombadil, and Joyful Households

Photo by MetroList Services on Unsplash

About a month ago, we were finishing up our garden planting and spreading some mulch to try to defend against weeds. While I was glad to be getting it done, we’d let several projects land on the last few days before we left for a road trip, and I was beginning to wonder if we’d get them all done.

That evening, I’d gotten home from work, we’d had a midwife appointment, and then we’d gone outside to finish the garden projects. As we finished up, I began to get frustrated because things were taking much longer than I thought they should and we still had a lot to do.

After getting inside, I was visibly frustrated, and my wife made a passing comment about how it wasn’t a situation to get frustrated over. We’d all just spent over an hour outside together. Isn’t that something I’d normally be hoping for? That snapped me out of my downward spiral and put things back into perspective. Working to become a productive household will entail some nights when we get the kids to bed late, times when things take longer than I thought they would, and plenty of times when the unexpected happens.

Regardless of the difficulties that come up in our pursuits, I have to maintain my joy. Especially as the father and head of the home, I have to set the standard for keeping a joyful countenance regardless of the circumstances in which our household finds itself. I’ve heard it said by many that the father in the home should be the thermostat, setting the temperature, not the thermometer, reflecting the temperature.

In hard circumstances, I want to be a calm, confident presence that has my perspective rooted in the joy of knowing that our God and Father in heaven is with us, loves us, and will never forsake us. I aim, in light of that, to be a merry warrior. When I think of a merry warrior, I think of Tom Bombadil, that mysterious character in J.R.R. Tolkien’s, The Fellowship of the Ring. Bombadil is not jolly because he enjoys conflict, but because he knows what is behind him, regardless of what’s before him. He knows his home and his wife are waiting once he conquers the evil right in front of him. As Christians, we can have a similar confidence. Although our joy is rooted in our ultimate home, which is before us, our earthly homes serve like Tom’s, places where we can go to be refreshed and rest. These earthly households are supposed to reflect for us the joy that awaits us in heaven, where we will at last enter into perfect rest in our Father’s house. Like Tom Bombadil, I want to be someone who can look mortal danger in the face and, with a smile, take care of the enemy in quick order.

It’s worth noting that Tom has such a home to look forward to because he established it. He is the master, as Goldberry tells the hobbits, and his authority over his domain, including his house, is exercised in caring for everything in it.¹ Without exercising his authority, his house, a bastion of light, merrymaking, and good food and drink, would not be possible. It’s his intentional care and ordering of everything for which he’s responsible that results in a home he wants to return to. C. R. Wiley, in his book In the House of Tom Bombadil, expounds on this idea, and I highly recommend it if you’re interested in Bombadil’s character.

Further, and more importantly, we are commanded in Scripture to rejoice always. Joy is listed as a fruit of the Spirit-filled life. The Apostles rejoiced when they were counted worthy to be persecuted for the sake of the name of Christ. Our lives should be defined by the joy we take in the good gifts God has given us and the mercy He has shown us. No matter how bad our circumstances in this life are, we can always rejoice that we have been joined to Christ, saved from our sin, and will spend eternity in fellowship with God. And if our lives are not as difficult as many have experienced, then we can praise God for His blessings in addition to the already unfathomable blessings just mentioned.

Gratitude is another factor in this discussion. Seeing everything in our lives as a blessing and gift from God will help to jump-start our joy. If I’m discontent, I’ll lack joy. Joy comes, in part, from recognizing God’s goodness in everything He’s done in the past, continues to do, and promises to do in the future. As mentioned above, joy is listed as a fruit that comes from walking in the Spirit. When we deny the flesh and walk in the Spirit, joy will be a natural result of our communion and fellowship with God.

It’s difficult to maintain this joyful attitude. For myself, I almost always think in terms of my comfort and happiness, instead of rooting my joy in my fellowship with God and His people. Our culture regularly talks about emotions as if they are uncontrollable and unquestionable. However, Scripture talks about our emotions similarly to how it speaks about our minds. Just like we are to have self-control over our thoughts, which takes a lot of work, we are to maintain self-control over our emotions, which also takes a lot of work.

I knew that the practice of emotional self-control was not easy at all but, when I started paying attention to my own practice of it, I learned how far I had to go. Learning to drive my heart and mind elsewhere when I want to wallow in disappointment or difficulty is much better than allowing my life to be determined by my spontaneous impulses, thoughts, and emotions. Scripture memory is something I’ve found to be important in this process of developing self-control over my emotions. Having Scripture to turn to when my heart and mind need to be redirected has been invaluable.

Something else that I try to bring to mind when I’m tempted to feel afraid or to procrastinate doing something I know needs to be done is that the “hard” things I face in my life are very little in comparison to the struggles of most of the men who have lived before me. Modern life has simply made me soft. Most men throughout history, if they didn’t face the threat of or participate in war, faced disease and subsistence living the likes of which I can’t imagine. While our modern struggles are legitimate, I need to keep them in perspective. Sending that cold pitch or taking that (well-considered) financial risk is no big deal compared with heading off to war or facing starvation for me and my family if the rains don’t come for our crop at the right time.

Reading Beowulf is part of what helped me with this perspective. Beowulf consistently leaves comfort and security for the sake of others, facing down terrifying, deadly monsters with the mindset that he will win and defend the people he’s fighting for or he’ll die trying. I want to grow into that kind of man but know that I’m far from it. Seeing the dragons and monsters that need killing in my own life, though, and facing them bravely, is the way to get to that point. Men can also trust that God, having assigned this role of warrior and defender to them, will help them mature into it, regardless of where they are now. I take great comfort in that fact and remind myself of it often.

All of these reminders and helps for maintaining joy are not just for me personally, but are practices I try to work into our family culture. Admittedly, I’m not good at this yet. But I aim to work into our family culture short sayings so that we can easily remind each other to stay focused, to keep our joy. If I remain joyful, that is a huge step forward, but I’m also responsible to see that my wife and children maintain joyful spirits, as well. So, I must work to create a joyful household, which starts with praying for God to give me and my family joyful hearts. Ultimately, His Spirit must be at work in us to give us joyful hearts and deeply rooted, unshakeable joy.

So, remember to be joyful as you do the building and fighting work. Part of keeping perspective is remembering that we won’t build a legacy in a day. The joy comes in remembering that we’re building for our grandchildren and their grandchildren. Ultimately, we’re building to give whatever we build to Christ for His glory, and we should remain thankful that He’s given us the opportunity to do the work He’s put in front of us. If we keep that generational and eternal perspective, we’re able to maintain our joy in each moment, even the difficult ones.

1. “‘Fair lady!' said Frodo again after a while. 'Tell me, if my asking does not seem foolish, who is Tom Bombadil?' 'He is,' said Goldberry, staying her swift movements and smiling. Frodo looked at her questioningly. 'He is, as you have seen him,' she said in answer to his look. 'He is the Master of wood, water, and hill’” (Tolkien, J.R.R. https://quotessayings.net/topics/goldberry/.)